I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
