was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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