i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
