I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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