Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
