i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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