how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
