if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
