There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
