If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
