my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
