Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
