remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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