WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
