Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
