ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Your tits are I can't wait for
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
