you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
