barbara walters just said penis...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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