She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
