I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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