You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
