I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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