Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
