U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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