I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
