I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
