I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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