I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
