I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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