I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
pray to the hookup gods
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
