you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
