It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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