Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
