it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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