so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
