is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
