you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
