Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
