It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
