It's Friday. Sex?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
