I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
