Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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