there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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