Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
