Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
