If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize
