Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
another moral hangover. fuck.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
