You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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