so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
