Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
